Find more of this blog at Sex With A Girl.
Find more of this blog at Sex With A Girl.
Every bar, every coffee house, every supermarket. Malls, book stores, parks, concerts, parties (house or otherwise), the street, and anywhere else you find people, they are all the Field. This is where you meet women. Usually when I, as well as many people in the dating advice community, refer to the Field I am talking about night clubs. Night clubs, as Mystery puts it, are “social watering holes”. Simply put this is where people come specifically to meet other people.
For many going into a club is a little daunting. I’ve never been much of a night club person until I started working on improving my social abilities. It’s loud, which means you need to learn to project your voice, it’s crowded, so you have to learn to be very comfortable around people, but most importantly there are a lot of good looking girls that go to these venues. And it is for those reasons that night clubs are a perfect place to practice good social habits. If you talk to a girl and it doesn’t work out, no big deal. You move on to the next.
There are many different ways to look at the Field. If you enjoy video games you can look at it as the ultimate role playing game. You can disassociate yourself from the scenario and see yourself as a character you created. You customized this character’s clothing, hair style, and attitude to be the person you see as a confident well put together person, the kind of person you have always wanted to be. Look at the venue as a map and all the people are non-player characters. When you get “shot down” you can easily just respawn and try again.
I look at the Field a little more realistically. As I mentioned in a previous post, single women in the Field are like beacons shouting out “Come talk to me! Let me see what you’re like!” They evaluate you and if you are not their type then they will hint at it by acting disinterested. You take the hint and politely move on to another group. I know this can seem harsh but it’s not, I will post more about this at a later time.
You will have to find a way of looking at the Field that works for you. Just remember, all around the world as you read this people are meeting other people. Relationships that will last for the rest of their lives are being forged at this moment, and they are all happening in the Field.
If you are just starting to approach women in a bar you’ve probably noticed that they almost always seem busy. They could be talking with friends. They could be getting drinks at the bar. They could be dancing. What you need to understand, however, is that women give off signals that they want to be approached. I found that in the pick-up artist community that they over define these signals quite often. When a girl goes to the bar looking for a guy there are things that they always do.
Dressed to Kill
Is the girl looking like she wants to meet someone? When a girl wants to meet a guy she goes all out to attract them by breaking out her favorite dress, by wearing her best make up, by spending an hour and a half on her hair, by spraying on that signature scent of hers that lures guys to her. Girls that are dressed down, casual or just plain, might have a boyfriend back home and she’s not on the prowl, but maybe her friends are.
Good Attitude, Great Smile
See if she’s smiling and having a lot of fun. She wants people around her to think she’s got a great personality. Laughing and taking pictures with her friends are girls’ way of bringing the attention in the bar to them. If she seems depressed, she might have just had a breakup and is feeling spiteful of men. If she is acting angry (or bitchy), she’s uncomfortable at the bar and just wants to leave. If she is acting shy, well sometimes girls are just shy; you can talk to her but unless you really make an impression, don’t expect to get her to call you back. Don’t confuse these with her being bored. If the girl is bored, especially if her friend(s) is talking with a guy, this can actually work in your favor because she would just be happy to be have some attention. Remember these are all about how she acts with her friends before you even walk up. How she acts towards you is for another post.
No Boyfriend in Sight
This one should be obvious but it bears mentioning. If she does not have a guy hanging off of her, or at least she doesn’t seem to to be enjoying it, then assume she doesn’t have a boyfriend.
These are very simple things. Is every girl that lives up to these things out looking for a guy? Well that’s actually rather debatable. Sure, some girls go the bar dressed up, having fun, without their boyfriend and have no intention of going home with anyone. But, I would bet that if Brad Pitt walked into the bar and right up to her he could get her to go home with him. Maybe not, but it’s like the old saying, “Everyone has their price.” Maybe to her, you are Brad Pitt.
A girl also doesn’t need to live up to all three of these. Well, not having a boyfriend with her is rather important. But when girls put in this kind of effort they are like a beacon shouting out “Come talk to me! Let me see what you’re like!” They want you to give them the opportunity to get that first impression of you. The next time you are out take a look around the bar and see what girls are giving off what signals. Practice your ability to read basic body language and subtext. It will be a valuable skill in life.